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Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.

At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.Another 64 per cent say they would happily go out with a man who was attractive if he used a naff one-liner on them - with ‘Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living? ’ and ‘Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance? Kat Mc Clure, UK manager of online casino Mr Green.com, which carried out the research, said: ‘For years, chat-up lines have been seen as desperate and something only a brave few men would dare to try. Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.

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